Someone told me after I posted this that it might be their favorite thing I’ve ever written. That felt good, but the fact remains that there aren’t too many things worse in life than being dumped. Let me explain…

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dumpedLet’s just be honest here: Getting dumped sucks.

Whether it comes in the form of a relationship ending or a termination from a job or basically any other scenario you can think of where one person (or group of people) tells another person to just go away, being dumped carries just about more emotional hurt than anything else I can think of. Even if the dumping is justified (and, in some instances, it most certainly is), the person on the receiving end can’t help but feel the sting of rejection. People are, after all, only human.

I think maybe the worst part about being dumped is not necessarily the present act of the dumping itself, but rather in the looking back it produces. If things have reached the point where someone feels that the best way they can move on in life is to be away from you, there is an undeniable sadness there. You feel ugly, misshapen in some way. Then you begin to wonder if there was anything you could have done differently. Could you have been kinder? Could you have controlled your temper better? Should you not have been so honest about everything? Should you have just kept your mouth shut?

Beyond all that, though, you are left to wonder how strong whatever bond you had indeed was. You question whether the level of caring was as high as you believed it was. You ponder whether or not you caused more harm than good. You want to think they (whoever “they” may be) still care about you, but they’re not there anymore to tell you, so you really don’t know. All you know for certain is they’re gone. They have moved on, and  you are not part of their future plans. If that is the case, how much confidence did they have in you in the past? How much love? How much anything?

These are not easy questions to wrestle with, and I am extremely reluctant to bring them out in this forum. There are still people I care very deeply for who have moved on without me in one way or another. I would give anything if I could change that, but the decision is ultimately not up to me. All I can do is hope and pray that some type of new beginning can be forged, one that will both acknowledge the past and point to the future. That is a frightening, painful, and excruciating position to be in. I don’t enjoy it. Not one bit.

I read once that the surest way to drive a person away is to make them believe you cannot live without them. I believe there is a certain amount of truth to that remark. I am very stubborn, though. I don’t like giving up on things, and that can often be to my detriment. Maybe I’ve even scared people. If I push too hard or hang on too tightly, though, just remember it is because I felt so strongly in the first place.

You may have been fired. You may have been divorced. You may have had the screws put to you by someone you trusted. You got dumped. It doesn’t have to be the end, though. At least, that’s what we have to keep telling ourselves. There is hope. There are second chances. That’s what I want to believe. I hope you believe it, too.
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