When I first started writing this particular blog (I actually had a blog before this one, but it was very random and unfocused.), all I wanted to do was share my own personal experience of living with depression. I suppose there was a part of me as well that hoped doing so would offer a bit of hope to someone else or at least let them know they weren’t alone in their struggles. There was no grand design; there was just me and my words.

Over time, though, I began to want more for this blog. I wanted it to truly be able to help people struggling with mental illness. So, I bought a domain name. I tried to get other people to write here about their experiences. I thought about a podcast at one point. Of course, not every idea I had panned out, but I began to change the way I wrote. I wanted to be able to say something worthwhile that would offer answers to those with questions about the problems they were dealing with.

I really hadn’t thought much about this change in writing philosophy until recently. Suddenly, in light of life throwing a series of circumstances at me which didn’t have clear-cut solutions, I realized I didn’t have all the answers. Even more so, I began to wonder why I felt such a need to be able to offer them to others. What I was feeling went beyond merely wanting to help. I felt as if I had failed if each post didn’t wrap up with some type of lesson or piece of advice. After all, the internet is full of lists and step-by-step guides detailing how to get over all different types of problems. Surely I had something to offer to the conversation.

After a lot of soul-searching (and not a lot of writing), I finally came to this conclusion: I am scared. What was driving me wasn’t a desire to be of assistance. It was fear. I was deathly afraid that if I didn’t have all the answers (or at least some of them) people would reject me. I felt that what I had to say had no worth if I couldn’t offer up a solution or two. I had fallen into the trap of basing my worth on the approval of someone else. When I inevitably reached the limit of my knowledge, I would shut down and not write anything. If I didn’t have some direction to offer, what good was I?

I would very much like to say I am using this post to announce that I have exorcised that fear, but that would be a lie. I still grapple with it daily. What I can say with confidence, however, is this: I do not have all the answers. I do not possess the 10 tips that are key to changing your life. I have not mastered my depression, and I cannot give you an exact blueprint for mastering yours. There will be times when I simply do not have any idea what is going on.

All that being said, I can walk through this journey with you. I can share with you the things have worked for me in managing my depression. I can continue to link to other articles from around the internet with helpful insights and information. I can share my bad days just like I share my good days. Most of all, though, I can keep writing about my experiences simply for the sake of writing about them. I mean, at the end of the day, it is still my blog, right?

As always, any and all feedback on anything I have written here is welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read this. You are all loved and appreciated.

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